


My World Your World

by TrickIsTrash



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Carlos is a Good Boyfriend, Catoptrophobic, Childhood Trauma, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Hurt/Comfort, I actually did a hell of a lot of research for this, I'll add more tags as I go?, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of past abuse, Multiple Personalities, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-13 05:58:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5697592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickIsTrash/pseuds/TrickIsTrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The goal of therapy is not to cure DID Cecil, but to learn to live with it. We need to find ways Kevin can express his anger in a satisfying yet socially acceptable manner."</p><p>In which I write an AU where Cecil has dissociative identity disorder (or as it was previously called Split personality disorder) and basically the residents of Night Vale are his alter personalities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Introduction

**_Someone’s going to kill you one day, Cecil, and it will involve a mirror. Mark my words, child!_**

Cecil stopped searching his closet as a vivid memory flashed in his head. He remembered so clearly her warning and honestly he wished he knew what happened to his dear mother. Kevin knew but refused to say. Even though Cecil and his alters mostly shared co-consciousness now there were still things Kevin kept locked away from him. It made Cecil nervous but Kevin said some things are best left to the imagination. Cecil didn't have much of an imagination so in his mind his mother is simply still hiding from him. Even though he was a thirty something year old man Cecil still couldn't really accept his mothers death but he supposed that wasn't really in his control, more often then not he felt nothing was in his control. He heaved a sigh as he lay several shirts on his bed and remembered his doctors words.

**_"The goal of therapy is not to cure DID Cecil, but to learn to live with it. We need to find ways Kevin can express his anger in a satisfying yet socially acceptable manner."_**

Cecil had wished more then he would like to admit that there was a magic pill he could take to get rid of his alters. Unfortunately there was no way to actually cure DID as his doctor put it. No way to suppress it or control it... Just... Try to learn to live in harmony with them. He did truly like his alters and has come to see them as friends. Dana for example helped Cecil immensely. She organised his personal life. If there was ever a file or form he needed to fill out Dana would take care of it and even leave some sticky notes for him. She loved organising and keeping things in order almost to a point of obsession. She was very helpful and he considered her a close friend even if he couldn't get the taste of dirt out of his mouth after she left.

However he didn't get on with every alter as well as Dana. The Faceless Old Woman was... Cecil actually wasn't sure if she liked him or not. She liked to clean and organise things like Dana but in her own way? She always moved Cecil's things and reorganised so that he couldn't find anything. She's probably harmless and mostly means well but.... Cecil will never forget the day that he was released from the psychiatric ward and able to live in a home of his very own. The Faceless Old Woman's idea of a good house warming gift was to insert a silverfish into his ear. All he wanted was a fresh start, not spend his first day of freedom getting his ear flushed out. His hand shot up to touch his ear, he could almost still feel that silverfish in there. His ear was raw for a week after that!

**_"Does it bother you at all that a lot of your alters are female? Do you feel a desire to express any feminine traits you lack?"_**

Cecil fingered at his favourite purple tunic, trying to decide if it was the best choice of attire. He never really cared about gender so when his doctor asked he didn't know what to say. Cecil himself was gender neutral? Gender fluid? He never really looked into terms he was just Cecil. That was honestly the extent of his thoughts on the subject.

He liked Dana, he liked the Faceless Old Woman and he even liked the mute child. He could deal with them, he could mostly sway them to listen to him. Then there was Kevin. Cecil and Kevin had an interesting relationship. Kevin was arguably Cecil's first real friend. He was Cecil's only alter who was not only the same age as him but also grew up with him side by side. Kevin did protect Cecil but he wasn't sure if Kevin's only motive for doing that was that they shared a body. Cecil did hold a certain resentment towards Kevin, after all Kevin was the reason Cecil was sent to juvie for matricide when he was 12. No one had really understood DID back then or if they did it wasn't very well known. Cecil wasn't even officially diagnosed until Kevin had made such an uproar that specialists were bought in.

After 5 years in that hellhole Cecil was moved to live in a psychiatric ward and finally got the help he needed, he felt a strange sense of closure to understand what he had. He was glad to finally know why he had so many gaps in his memory and he was glad to have a way to understand and cope with Kevin. It took 6 years for Cecil to be deemed able to function in society and released from the ward, under the provision that he had strict supervision and attended sessions twice a week. Finally after 4 more years he was officially free. He didn't need any supervision anymore, he did still have to attend therapy and would for the rest of his life buuuuut he got his own apartment!

**_A life of pain is the pain of life, and you can never escape it._**

Those were the wise words of his grandparents. As a child Cecil had struggled to understand and if he was being honest with himself he still wasn't entirely sure what the meaning of that phrase was. Except none of that mattered right now. He smiled as he started to hang up his rejected outfits and return them to the closet. None of that mattered anymore because he had  
....  
A date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. My first attempt at really publishing a fanfic. I honestly don't know if this is any good or not so some feedback would really really be appriciated! If you also feel I've gotten something wrong about DID please tell me. I've researched it, spoken with my own psychologist and talked to a friend who has it. I'm writing this with the idea of portraying DID as accurately as possible.
> 
> I'd love to hear from you guys, it would really give me a confidence boost! ^^
> 
> Also did you know there's actually a hell of a lot about silverfish crawling into people's ears on Google? Because I sure didn't.


	2. Cecil's New Man

Well... The date was an absolute bust. Cecil really thought he could of had something with that ashen faced young man with a European accent that seemed so otherworldly. What seemed so possible that morning was now already and forever never was. Maybe he self destructed his chances? Cecil would not put it past himself to do that. He took a deep breath and placed his shopping bag on the kitchen table. Carefully, CAREFULLY keeping the bundle in his other hand close to his chest and the dip in his neck.

Cecil smiled, he felt genuinely happy for the first time in what seemed like forever. "I don't NEED some foreign beautiful man with an exotic accent to make me feel good about myself." Cecil spoke aloud as he made his way to the couch, rationalising his thoughts. " l have a new man in my life." He carefully sat down and placed the bundle in his lap, tugging to unravel his hot pink zebra patterned poncho that he had originally donned over his favourite button up shirt that had the little Cowboys on horses silhouette printed onto it.

In his lap was a small tuft of black unruly fur. Bright, bright tiny green eyes peered around the room. "Annnnnd he's just the cutest little guy I've ever seen! Aren't yoooooou?" Cecil picked up his front paws delicately and waved them around a little, unable to resist feeling the smooth paw pads. Tiny claws were hooking into his fingers as this kitten was too young and unable to retract them yet. "Ah! You are just so adorable!" He continued to coo lovingly at the kitten, he stroked is finger tips down the cats spine, it almost felt like he had sharp spiny ridges. Now admittingly Cecil is not usually a cat person BUT when he saw this little guy, he knew he had to take him home. Cecil was still playing with the kitten's paws as he recalled how they came to meet.

Cecil heaved a sigh as he walked to the train station to return home. That... Could have gone better. It could of been worse right? No. No, no that was the absolute worst date he could ever have hoped for. He couldn't stop reviewing the entire date in his mind, if he only said that differently or didn't do that maybe he could of stood a chance to not make a fool of himself. He shook his head it didn't matter now. He looked around the platform definitely grateful there wasn't many people waiting. He slapped his forehead and hunched his shoulders high into his neck as he cringed at the memories. He Absent mindedly he eyed the wall following the cracks until he saw a bathroom sign and headed towards it. Maybe washing his face would clean away the embarrassment.

What was that? Was that... Mewling? Cecil crouched down in front of the sink and by the rubbish bin in the stations men's room was a tiny kitten. Cecil stared at the kitten for he doesn't even know how long. It was really the first time he felt such a strong connection to a cat. Maybe it was the fact the kitten was lost and alone, maybe it was because Cecil felt this cat knew what the pain of having no one was like or maybe because he knew that it would die if he left it and Cecil had never been presented with that situation before. All he knew for certain was that he boarded the train with that cat bundled up in his arms.

Cecil blinked and let the present flood back in. "What to call you....? Lee? Marvin? Sir fluffington?" He thought long and hard as the tiny black ball had curled up and fell asleep purring. "Ballou? Shadow? Cecil Junior? No no we don't need ANOTHER Cecil." He laughed a little at his own joke before letting his laughter pathetically trail and die off. Cecil hummed, low in his throat. "Ganesh? Anubis? Khoshekh..." Yeah that seemed to fit. Where did he even know that word? It was just one he knew, like how people just universally know the names of Gods that aren't from their religion. 

"My little Khoshekh."

Now... All that was left to worry about was how his alters would react to this new addition to their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was unsure how to find inspiration for this but all the lovely comments I got jog started my brain to produce this! ^\\\\\\\^ and yeah I hope it wasn't too much of a jerk move to make everyone think Cecil was meeting Carlos in this one XD


	3. Who Is Roger?

"Early. Early." Cecil was snapping his fingers in front of his friends face. "Snap out of it Early bird." His tone was sharp and commanding, using full advantage of his baritone voice. "Who...?" Earl squinted his eyes which were almost glazed over as he awoke from his daze. "Your name is Earl Harlan, your a chef and you have a son called Roger." Cecil was otherwise use to this as Earl nodded. "Right... Yeah sorry Cecil." Earl shrunk in on himself nervously as he remembered. "You wanted to talk about Roger." Cecil prompted, patiently letting Earl gather his thoughts as he sipped his coffee. They went out for coffee every other week together and Cecil was more then use to this behaviour.

"Yeah, Roger... I'm worried Ceece. He's only a kid and he's got so much on his plate and now l keep finding him sneaking out and when I followed him one night he was just.... Wandering around." Earl's brow creased in frustration as he looked to Cecil for any type of guidance or reassurance. Earl really did love Cecil. Cecil was the one and only person that he seemed to be able to remember. They met when Cecil was assigned to be Earl's roommate. Earl still could remember the day they met and the time they spent together, Cecil was one of his few long term memories that stuck. "I don't know what to say Early, if he doesn't leave your street it can't be all that dangerous."

Cecil didn't know much of Earl's backround but neither did Earl honestly. Apparently he had a break down one day and he was thrown in hospital. His file said his father constantly drank and beat him, amongst other things. He was admitted and diagnosed with psychogenic amnesia. Earl lost gaps of his memory, sometimes they came back, sometimes not... Sometimes he forgot who he was and where he lived. Over time he got better at recalling basic short term memory but he was still struggling. They had lost contact when Earl was moved but one day a few years ago he came back into Cecil's life. He was able to recognise Earl instantly. After all Cecil could never forgot that sun kissed freckled face.

He was happy seeing Earl again! Really he was, he wanted to know everything that happened since they left off. Except Earl said that he didn't know... Earl said he couldn't remember anything after his 19th birthday.

**_"I just... Last thing I remember was going to sleep in our room and then I woke up and I was 27!"_**

Cecil felt so sad for Earl, he had never met anyone in his entire life that just TRIES the way Earl does. Earl tried so hard to keep everything together, he tries so hard for Roger and Cecil can't help but feel for him. Earl constantly has the threat looming over him that he could be deemed an unfit parent and Roger could be taken away even with the help and support he receives due to his disability. Yet some days Earl wakes up and sees the small boy eating breakfast at the table and he doesn't have a clue who he is.

**_"I don't even know who his mother is Cecil..."_**

Roger should honestly win best child of the year award, this year and every year after. He helped so much with Earl. He seemingly knew how to handle everything naturally and Roger being around really helped keep Earl's long memory together. He still forgot little things but Roger was able to adapt. Like he learnt he'd always have to walk home by himself from his soccer games and he learnt not to be upset when his father forgot his birthday. There were advantages sure, Roger has had 2 desserts on more then one occasion because Earl forgot that he already fed him.

**_"I'm worried I'll never fully connect with him."_**

"He shouldn't have to put up with this Cecil." That ever present frown was starting to annoy Cecil. "There's a lot of things people shouldn't have to put up with but they do Early bird." Memories flashed across his mind of all the times Kevin had taken them out for a night of what he called 'fun' but Cecil definitely didn't think waking up in strangers houses covered in body glitter, trashy yellow clothes and suffering a terrible hang over was fun. "I want to be a better father and I am remembering so much more now but I'm worried if I'm causing him more damage then good." Earl sipped at his coffee now lukewarm from letting it sit untouched for so long.

"You are a good father Early. As long as you remember that you'll be okay. Trust me." And Earl did trust him, he trusted Cecil more then anyone else. He nodded as a smile finally tugged at his lips. "Cecil... Thanks..."

**_"He told me his name is Roger..."_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm trash and I wanted complicated relationships with Earl okay.


End file.
